Friday, September 16, 2011

this thing with food? not good.

Since it's September still, and we've only written one post, I figured I should do another, and here it goes.

You may be familiar with my never ending struggle with food. I love it. I hate it. It loves me. It hates me. It's a problem, basically. I used to have this idea that if I ate one giant meal at the end of the day, it was okay, because since I hadn't eaten anything for the rest of the day, this would make up for it. This is not the case, friends. And then I said to myself, self, it's time to make a change.

And then I ate crackers and carrots for a whole day and nearly died trying to walk up some stairs. Friends, this is not the way to do it either. Unless you have super powers, saltines and carrots will not give you the power to survive.

During the week, I don't really have time to think about food. I wake up, I run to work (no breakfast, I'm super healthy), I see group after group of children with speech and language problems, I maybe have a meeting or two in there. Sometime around 11 I manage to shove some amalgamation of food in my mouth that I packed hurriedly (spell check doesn't think that's a word. Is it?) that morning, then more groups, and then I am off to a daycare, or to my office to see more kids. Around 6 or 6:30 I arrive at home, too tired to truly put effort into dinner, and I end up eating chips, or a can of soup. And then I am trying to go to bed. On the weekends, this is when I start to think about food, and I start to dislike it. Food makes me unhappy, because really, my relationship with food feels like the root of my problems. I am fat because I eat too much. I eat too much because I am unhappy. Eating doesn't make me feel good, so why do I eat when I am unhappy? Occasionally, of course, it swings the other way, and I am so unhappy that I never want to eat, and I decide that I will survive on lettuce and Chobani.

And this is where we get into the part where food hates me. If I eat anything that has too much fat, I may have a galbladder attack (which means no creamy pasta, which is the love of my life). If I eat too much food, I will inevitably feel sick and/or have a galbladder attack. If I eat too late, I will work myself up into feeling anxious and possibly either make myself sick or I will actually be sick. It's a fine line I walk.

I know, intellectually, that the way to eat healthy involves eating smaller meals, and eating snacks during the day. Eating plenty of protein, little fat, and moderate carbohydrates. I know these things. These are not things I need to be told (again).

Sometimes I think that I would do well on one of those diets where they say "here, eat this meal, and then no more for you until your next meal." It's unfortunate that they cost something like $300 a month.

I'm not sure where this post was meant to go. Probably it doesn't have any deeper meaning, but maybe it lets you know more about the me that I don't like to tell people about.

I was feeling ridiculously positive when we started this blog, and now I feel ridiculously negative.

x-posted to colorless green ideas sleep furiously.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Just in case anyone's listening...

An introduction.

Kirsten is 24 years old, a bona fide speech language pathologist (still working on her clinical fellowship) living in the Tampa area of Florida. Newly moved from Michigan, and making new friends. Here's the stats:

Current weight: 262 lbs
Desired weight: 140 lbs

Cari is also 24 years old and working as a speech language pathology assistant hoping to get a masters degree and continue on to be just like Kirsten! Living in Michigan and traveling between her parents’ home in Newaygo and her fiancé’s house in Augusta.  Starting stats are:

Current weight: 184 
Desired weight: 130-140

We thought about how we like to be made accountable for our weight loss, and what better way than to put it out there, in a place where we can't just take it back. For us, it's about many different things. Cari is thinking that should wants to look hot for her wedding (and of course she will).  Kirsten is planning on looking hot for life, and getting healthy. I want to get off of the medications that I am on that are preventative.

So here it goes. Kirsten is going to begin Weight Watchers, and Cari is following a diet plan from her trainer and a nutritionist. To keep us accountable we will weigh in every Monday and share our hopefully good news in Monday blog posts! Wish us luck on out weight loss journey!

Kirsten and Cari.